My Love….Hollywood

I loved you from the first day I met you.

You were my one.

My first.

My peace.

My happiness.

I remember our first embrace as if it were yesterday.

Your soft embrace,

Your soft touches,

Your soft kisses caressing  my body,

The depth of you,

Within the depths of me.

Toes curled .

Mind filled with complete ecstasy.

World spinning.

Tantalizing.

Celestial feeling

Two becoming one.

Never regretted.

I loved you!

No, I love you.

I’ll always love you.

Despite the fact I never told you I loved you.

No one has been able to replace you.

No one has been able to replace what I feel for you you.

Though it pains me that I was scared.

Scared to tell you I love you freely.

Scared to open up.

Scared to think the age difference was the reason.

Scared to commit to you,

You being older….

Our pain brought us together.

Our losses led our paths crossing.

Our losses brought so much joy when we decided to be with one another.

My biggest loss in life was not telling you… That in making love….

We created….

Life.

That creation didn’t survive….

That creation discovered cancer within me.

That creation did not to live….

That creation caused me pain….

Severe.

Sharp.

Heart shattering.

Pain.

A pain I never shared with you

A pain I dealt alone…

Filled with grief.

A pain I did not want to fill you with grief… Again.

I know you’ll never forgive me for not sharing.

I guess it’s ok I have no idea where you are.

I was scared.

I ran.

No I fled.

I coldly looked at you and said go.

It killed me.

It pained me.

I destroyed me.

I know you knew I loved you…. Even though I denied it.

I was just scared to tell you.

You were right my love…

I will always love you.

Until my very last breath.

My Hollywood SR

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