Do something wrong, and we are taught to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Then we are taught to forgive and move on.
“Turn the other cheek” (Luke 6:29) sort of speak.
I find myself teaching my kids the same concept. Child 1 hits child 2, mommy intervenes. Go apologize to your sibling.
Child 1 goes apologizes, hugs then kisses child 2.
Child 2 usually says, it’s ok, I forgive you.
Then they continue on playing as if absolutely nothing ever happened.
As a parent it’s kind of a double edge sword like… phew you kissed, made up and went about your business but then at the same token dude, that’s it? (Yet grateful that, that’s it).
Why can’t we be as forgiving as children.
Why can’t we be as forgetful to the issues and carry on.
We have all been in predicaments where someone offends someone, or offends you, and person 1 apologizes, person 2 accepts the apology but someone doesn’t let go…. someone doesn’t move on.
How can one accept an apology, and let go the way kids do. Move on, continue life.
Why still be bitter?
Many times, people take things way too personal.
People can be way too toxic. People do not admit their wrong doings nor apologizes for them. Everything is so one sided. Everything is so “OmG when you did this and remember the time for that, ugh I was there for you, where you there for me?”
We all have that one friend that conveniently forgets how many times you’ve been there for them and not one time threw it back.
They conveniently forget the offenses they did to you, how they spoke to you, how you were disrespected as well, and only remember that one time you didn’t call.
I’m not all about dishing exactly what happened, Who it happened with, nor who did what for whom, I am not crossing that line, because then I would not have truly forgiven. This though is about forgiveness- knowing how to forgive.
I write this for two reasons.
I know someone who God had recently blessed. The nature of the blessing is not up for discussion since I’m just using this as an example. I congratulated that person, despite us not speaking for a while over a disagreement. I apologized for any transgressions i may have attributed and I have also forgiven. Whether or not the person forgave me, I have no idea, did the person feel the need to distance themselves, maybe. I hope I was forgiven. I forgave that person too.
Nonetheless, this person received an amazing blessing. Instead of being gracious about it the person simply ignores the fact I congratulated them, ignored the fact I spoke to them. [insert Jim Carey voice now] All-righty then.
I will not succumb to that. I will forgive, be proud of you and keep it going.
I am not going to be bitter and say oh I retract my statement, that’s very, eh not me. I want you to be blessed, and abundantly at that.
We haven’t spoken in weeks, well that’s a two way street, I reached out, the individual never reached back, so I’ll give that person space.
Sometimes we need space as part of the forgiveness process. Friend I forgive you. I will my keep distance, I don’t need toxicity in my life, the toxicity is not the friendship but the negative thoughts. I will not open those gates as I don’t want you to have toxicity in your life. Sometimes as part of forgiveness we need to accept that sometimes we are toxic to others even if we may or may not see it.
Some people are meant to be in our lives, some people are meant to be a lesson, some people are meant to take you to the next level, some are not meant to be in your life. I am not saying that is the case with said example. I am only saying it is OK to let go. It’s OK if certain individuals are just chapters in ones life.
I pray for this person daily, I get happy when social media reveals progress and success, I’m not going to be bitter, the success is much deserved. I am just wondering where the concept of forgiveness truly lies. Not just for myself, in general. Can we really truly forgive like Christ?
I am surely trying. Not just with this example but every aspect of my life. [work, family, friends, relationship]
Jesus forgave everyone involved in his crucifixion, he forgave those who made fun of him, he forgave those whom hurt him, he gave them all salvation. He loves them all, even if they don’t love him. Luke 23:34
There’s a song in Spanish that states: (to translate /para phrase):
“My mind doesn’t understand, I don’t think anyone understands how you were able to forgive those who killed you on the cross, they humiliated you, they made fun of you, yet you still told your father to forgive them, you died and resurrected showing me that with you death doesn’t exist only life. You showed me the secret of forgiveness so that today we can see the light , well today we forgive one another so that we can one day rise with you”
The title of the song translates knowing how to forgive (saber perdonar). This is only the chorus, it just hits me like wow. It’s true, many of us forgive and don’t let go, forgive and don’t love, forgive and don’t move on (together), forgive and still be bitter. Why can’t we forgive like Jesus, why can’t we forgive like a kid?
I only wrote this not to discredit anyone or friendship, not to vent about being ignored, but to think about forgiveness and how we sometimes don’t truly act upon it wholeheartedly.
I wrote this more of a self reflection of how I want to forgive, the way he forgave. Wholeheartedly, without looking back, without taking it back, without holding back, without any negativity despite the obstacles, hurdles and temptations.
How children can forgive in the same manner that Jesus has forgiven yet even believers have a hard time forgiving.
Father God I ask you to forgive me if I have offended you. I forgive those whom have offended me. I am more than willing to move on, with them if they allow, or without them if they don’t allow it. I ask for forgiveness in return for anyone whom I may have offended. Sometimes we offend and do not even realize that we have offended. God I ask to have faith like children, to trust in you wholeheartedly to forgive and move on as if nothing ever happened. To love unconditionally like Jesus has loved. I pray for my friend, you know who that person is. May this friend have an abundance of blessings bestowed their way. May that person prosper, soar, succeed, may they continue to seek you to receive your blessings. May we someday speak again, Without bringing up the past. I forgive you dear friend for offending me. I hope you can also forgive me as well. May we all forgive one another, may we all be given the guidance by the Holy Spirit to show us how to forgive. Amen.