Yesterday I had my consult with the Surgical Oncologist:
Surgery is routine.
He’s done it a gazillion times.
He’s the best in his field.
If all goes well I should be out of work for 3 weeks.
He wants to salvage as much of my organs as possible and get rid of the little (Er…..not so little) suckers whom have invaded my body.
I may loose apart of an organ or the whole organ but he hopes it doesn’t happen.
I put my faith and trust in God.
I felt good.
I felt positive.
I felt confident.
I’m still praying it’s not the worse case scenario.
But enough about yesterday, because I know I will be talking about it more with my family and church who have been my rock since my ER episode the other day.
Who says God can’t send us messages??
Who says God doesn’t call upon us?
Who says God doesn’t present himself before us?
Today I Woke up at 4am with a desire and need to pray ….. after I prayed I put on my pandora on and bam….. I get this and a few others….. (which I will list later)
each song that came up is exactly what I needed to hear…. each song spoke to the depths of my soul…. each song reminding me why this time it’s different …each song reminding me why I am not mad…. not in the least…. each song reminding me of my own personal transformation…..each song reminding me that even though the last time I was mad…. he never abandoned me….. just like he will not abandon me now…..:each song reminding me where I failed the last time but where this time I will prevail even more victorious….. this May be cryptic to you….. but those who knows….will understand and they will know that as I wave 🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️ I know they are waving with me…. and if at any moment i should feel any trace of weakness… which I haven’t…. I know they will lift my arms and help me 🏳️🏳️🏳️
As song 1 says: in all times and circumstances praise him….
And as song 2 say: “Que para esta hora he llegado
Para este tiempo nací, en sus propósitos eternos yo me vi
Para esta hora he llegado, aunque
Me ha costado creer, entre sus planes para hoy me encontré”
…hacido largo el viaje pero al fin llegue….”
And as song 3 says: “Mi trabajo es creer y caminar bajo la fe y el de Dios
Sera hacerlo el tiene todo el poder
Porque el no improvisa el siempre tiene un plan y aunque
Los tiempos no se presten con todo y eso el lo hara
Mi trabajo es creer y abrazarme a la fe el trabajo de
Dios es hacerlo el sabra disponer los tiempos
Mi trabajo es mantener la calma en lo duro de la
Circunstancia el trabajo de Dios es abrir las puertas.”
Song 4: todo va estar bien!!!
So many more songs spoke right to the Depths of my soul this early morning and continues too as I write this.
I had a much needed 1:1 time alone with my creator…. but wanted to share this for anyone who may also need something uplifting.
I’ve spent all morning worshipping and praising.
After my 1:1 I continued to praise while I cleaned around my house and while my kids were assigned their chores for the morning.
Dear reader know that Even in Our darkest moments he is there.
He has been amazing and reminding me via my family, church family and my 1:1 with him is that he is present evermore.
I cried today.
A big cry.
I let it all out.
Just me and God.
Just feeling his warmth surround me.
As if I was being surrounded by a warm blanket.
I felt him.
I told him I am not angry.
I asked for forgiveness for 17 years ago.
I will not fear.
I have not feared.
I felt his embrace more snugly.
I knew I was alone with him.
My kids were sleeping.
My husband was sleeping.
But the lord was awake within me.
I felt the areas of concern warm up.
For a second doubt set in and touched my forehead to ensure I wasn’t developing a fever.
Then I apologized and continued to worship and praise him.
It was just us.
Exactly what I needed from 4am – 6am (before my kids woke up).
Just the two of us.
Father thank you for this morning.
Thank you for waking me up.
Thank you because I needed that.
Yes I cried what I have yet to cry.
But I cried it knowing you were there to comfort me.
That I wasn’t alone, that I will not be alone. That you will be with me….how great though are! I can’t thank you enough.