My sons God father passed away 3/15/15. Not too long after his death I was taking a class that required an obituary. So I wrote one for him.
My compadre was born on the 12th of June 1981 to his wonderful parents. He was taken away in a heroic attempt to save his dog on the 15th of March 2015. He is adored and cherished by his parents, his fiancé , his son , his brothers, his God children, his many aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends and acquaintances. My compadre grew up in a God fearing home. His mother kept him active in various recreational activities while also preaching to him the word of God.
Growing up his mother ensured that he always read, always studied, always loving, always caring, always be kind, help the less fortunate, help those in need, grow educationally. She taught him the basic principals of humanity. She taught him to accept all for who they are, not to judge. She taught him to have the endearing heart he had. The foundations that his parents laid out as he grew up is what we all came to love and know.
In junior high school he met his best friend who had recently moved around the corner from him. The duo would play endless hours with the kids in the neighborhood and have bonded like brothers. As a matter a fact they became brothers. The duo were inseparable.
My compadre, as he was known by many was kind, genuine, helpful, an adventurer, smart, loyal, loved and cared for animals. Helped anyone who needed help whether a furry animal or another person who was being victimized by bullying or injustices of the world. He Would intervene in any circumstances to help a fellow brother out of harms way. Protected those he cared for.
He loved fellowship. He loved being surrounded in a good ambiance with friends and music. He loved music. Music was what fueled his soul. Music was his passion, his hobby, his love, his side gig, music was his breath of fresh air. Soca though is what pumped the blood to his heart.
His love for music came at a very young age. He had an eclectic taste in music. A great ear for mixing tunes. His passion drove him in to his hobby as a DJ, more famously known as the Mad Architect in many circles of the music / radio industry for his creativity in mixing beats for upcoming soca artists and talent in mixing music across various of genres. His name also combined his love for his profession as an architect.
He was talented in his field. Blessed to have been able to partake in amazing projects that to this date his plans are still under construction on the West Side. He was well respected and well loved in the architectural industry as well.
My compadre studied and worked hard for while teaching his fellow brothers, working at an established architectural firm, producing beats for his artists, being a husband to his fiancé, father to his child, child to his parents, brother to his friend, uncle to his God children, and care taker to his dogs whom he adored as children, both of which he rescued from shelters.
He was a busy man, but never did he stop showing those he loved, that he loved them. He was a smart man. He was a humble man. He was a caring man, he was a blessed man, he was a spiritual man, he had strength and endurance which came from the faith he had. Despite the circumstances and challenges life threw at him, he overcame it with pride, with dignity, with class, with faith and understanding.
Every curveball life threw came with a lesson. He understood that, he spoke of it often.,The politics and bureaucracies of societies. The discrimination and racial profiling of young black men. How disgusting the legal and judicial system is. How it is a trap for failure, imprisonment and slavery. He understood the psychology of it all and never let any of it let him fall. It made him stronger.
He urged to educate his peers on this subject, determined to teach the next generation to educate themselves to not be victims of the trend. To not be another number to the stereotype. To be above that, to rise above these stereotypes and social expectations of men of color. To be smarter. To be wiser, to learn the legal system and their language, to know when to use their lingo to not fall into the trap. To be educated amongst the educated and even more so amongst the ignorant…. Not just of educated in knowledge but in the spirit. See tony had a respect and an affinity for others of different beliefs. He was knowledgable of various spiritual relationships, customs and traditions. He respected them all equally as he would hope any one would respect his.
His experiences made him stronger. Made him more faithful. Made him realize that in his most difficult moments, he knew who stood by his side, his families side and who never turned their backs, regardless of the circumstance. He understood who were his brothers to the end.
In John 16:33 It says “These things I have spoken to you, so that you may have peace in me. In the world, you will have difficulties. But have confidence: I have overcome the world.” From my understanding Tony lived this quote. No matter the difficulties he over came them. He was confident. He was determined not to let his difficulties make him nor break him. He found strength during his challenges and overcame them. Regardless the obstacle. Personal, professionally, socially, etc, he over came them, and which each obstacle he willingly guided others so that they wouldn’t fall within the same trap. Leading by example.
Now as life threw him another curve ball. He chose to follow his heart and love for another being, he saved his dog, paid a sacrifice and lost his life. He knows who is still by his side, despite the tears, despite grief, despite the heartache, despite the anger, despite the acceptance, despite the unacceptable. He knows his parents will be watched over, his fiancé will be taken cared and loved, his son will be protected, by the same people whom always remained true to him as he was true to them.
Our pain with his loss is God’s megaphone. As in The book of job, Job learned that God gives and God takes away. We have also learned that no matter how good you are, how faithful you strive to be God gives and he takes away. We may even want to question, why me? Why take him away? What have I done to suffer this way? Job asked some of these same questions his meld. He asked if God can be placed to trial for his actions and questioned. God spoke to him. He reminded him that he is the architect of the world. Job learned that despite his suffering God delivers. “But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction” job 36:15. Though we are all mourning, grieving and suffering the loss of our beloved Tony, God will deliver us all from this pain.
Remember that God has his reasons. God has a plan. God is the architect which created this world. He designed you and I in his image. He designed it all. He delivers amongst your pain, afflictions and sufferings. Also know that when you overcome your trials and tribulations you come out stronger. Learn from the trials educate others based off of your testimonies from your trials just like my compadre would have.
I know this is a somber moment. Saying goodbye to the flesh is very hard. The memories shared will live on. Compadre will not want you moping around his loss.
He would want you to share your wonderful stories of the moments you’ve shared. The funny stories, the silly stories, the I can’t believe we did that stories, the personal stories, the private stories, his memory shall live within you. How you’ve grown together in your friendship and how that’s made you grow as an individual. He would want you to be rejoicing. He would want you to celebrate. To bring a toast. To dance. To laugh. To love. To féte. To watch out for one Another. Most importantly to Live.
He would not want you to stop living at his loss. He would not want you sad, depressed or in pain at his expense. He spent his whole life trying to bring joy to others, regardless of the circumstances.
He would say stop preaching, stop talking, turn on the music, someone man the turntables, get the vibes right, have that fête, celebrate your lives, take care of one another.
That’s what he would have wanted . Remember to share your experiences. Educate one another, provide strength and refuge to each other, lend a hand, lend an ear, share moments, create memories, make music, share laughs, enjoy fellowship, we are a framily.
God gave him brothers and sisters via friendships. He found love when least expecting to. He would be celebrating your life in your honor had roles been reversed.
Celebrate life. Live like it’s your last. Teach each other for knowledge is a good tool for empowering one another. Guide each other, care for one another, remember the less fortunate, remember the four legged animals,
Remember each other, support each other during this time of grief, for we all know that’s exactly what he would be doing.
God bless you.